•go to the bathroom to escape
•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch
•dwell on a small awkward moment for much longer than necessary
•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable
•follow said person way too much
•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious
•faking an illness to get out of a social event
•Dont buy something necessary because the cashier is intimidating.
This one looks like a scanner
This one poaches eggs too
Fucking hamster wheels
This ones see through
This one hangs on the fucking wall
It’s like a flower
Hand held toaster
Need a reminder? write it on your toast
Old school like the old school
WERE LOSING HIM SIR NOT ON MY WATCH
Now you know todays weather
i didn’t realize that a toaster fandom actually existed. this is beautiful.
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck